Making Decisions.

Sometimes we simply have no clue what to do.  Why this is so hard to admit I am not sure.  Perhaps it’s because some people are so decisive.  Decisive (aka “executive”) people make decisions all day everyday.  They are trained to respond quickly, even in the face of uncertainty.

They show it is possible to make decisions before we have all the information.  To execute, and thus lead, before we know all the facts about where we are going.  To be comfortable, even, with the potential of being wrong.  Decisive people will be wrong.  A lot.

Indecision, or let’s call it non-decision, compared to decisiveness, seems like weakness. Failure to lead or act.  At times, this may be the case.

But even the most decisive person gets decision fatigue.  No one actually always enjoys making all the decisions.  (If we cought one on vacation, I’m sure we would find them being pampered, NOT having to think or make decisions.)

The act of deciding is energy-consuming.  Decisions pull something out of us.  We know we are held accountable, yet not always for what.  There’s so little we control, yet we are expected to produce certain results.  We defend our choices.  Or we avoid them.

But if we avoid certain descisions, they linger.  They don’t go away.  Not deciding creates a distinct discomfort because the day actually requires that decision.

Other decisions, though, are not for this day.  They are for another day.  We don’t, and won’t, have the answer we need.  And trying to decide now only generates anxiety.  “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.”

Some decisions need to wait.  We simply need to live with the questions and the ambiguity those questions create.  “Today has enough trouble of its own.”

Indecision sounds too much like indigestion.  It provokes thoughts of weakness, or again of failure to decide.  We need a different word for people who choose not to choose.  Who deliberately wait on decisions that do not need to be made today.

Contemplative?  Thoughtful?  Reflective?  Processor?  Deliberate?

These are people who contemplate first.  Who say “not yet.”  Who live with tension. 
On purpose.

It takes great courage to live in tension.  To not try and resolve every loose end.  To wait. 

Tensions don’t last forever.  Answers do emerge.  Decisions are made; or perhaps, better, are discovered.  Through the process, through the tension, through the waiting, we find what we are looking for.  Eventually.
If we keep looking.   

There are two opposite temptations here.  One is to completely dismiss the possibility of outside help (human or divine).  This position rests solely on self-adequacy.  “No one will help me.  I must help myself.  It is My life.  My sole responsibility.”  Me against the world.

The other temptation is to only wait on outside help, to do nothing while waiting for a decision (to “wait” in the literal sense).  This person is perpetually waiting for clarity.  But nowhere are we encouraged to do nothing while waiting.  Waiting is active, not a dismissal from action.   

“I couldn’t do x, y, or z.  I was waiting for this, that, or the other.”  We still have responsibilities.

But the tension is real.  We work.  Commit.  Decide on a day to day basis, doing the small things necessary and needful, while not giving up on the big things our hearts dream about, hope for, and yes, wait on.

So the Proverb, “Sow your seed in the morning [the stuff your dreaming of] and in the evening do not let your hands be idle” [keep up your daily work] ~ Ecclesiastes 11.6.  You can dream big AND work small at the same time, or at least in the same day.

Notice here the focus on sowing, not not on reaping or even growing.  The idea is rooted in the central reality that only God can make things grow (and ultimately decide what will grow!).

We don’t know what will work.  We are guessing.  Another related Proverb from Ecclesiastes: “Cast your bread upon the waters for after many days you will find it again” (11.1).  Some translations focus it this way “ship your grain across the sea so after a while to get a return.”

The core idea is to invest what you have now, even if it is not ideal.  Don’t wait for perfect.  And be liberal.  The virtue of charity is intimated here as well.  Give.  Invest.  Try.  Don’t be afraid.  You don’t know what might come back around.

We can’t measure the wind!  Stop trying.  Stop waiting.

Go for it.  Take risks.  Take chances.  Sow even the little you have now to see what God might do with it.  Don’t get stuck by focusing on what you lack.  That only leads to dangerous places.  God is generous.  Be generous also.  Open your fist.  Yes, be open-handed.

For by the measure you use, it will be used for you.  Go for it!  Liberally.